Alaskalive Blog

Carry My Cross-Third Day

Alyssa — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 23:03:33 +0000

As long as I remember
I’ve been walking through the wilderness
Praying to the Father
And waiting for my time
I’ve come here with a mission
And soon I’ll give my life for this world

I’m praying in the garden
And I’m looking for a miracle
I find the journey hard but
It’s the reason I was born
Can this cup be passed on
Lord, I pray your will be done
In this world

So I’ll carry my cross
And I’ll carry the shame
To the end of the road
Through the struggle and pain
And I’ll do it for love
No, it won’t be in vain
Yes, I’ll carry my cross
And I’ll carry the shame I feel like I’m alone here
And I’m treated like a criminal
The time has come for me now
Even though I’ve done no wrong
Father, please forgive them
They know not what they’ve done
In this world

Three more days and I’ll be coming back again
Three more days and I’ll be coming back again

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You Don’t have to go to church to be a Christian

Alyssa — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 19:08:21 +0000

We have been visiting a church of late hoping to find a church to become a part of. We have a 15 year old son and he had a friend spend the night on Friday night and since they had so much fun he stayed again on Saturday night. I asked the boy if he wanted to go to church with us on Sunday morning and I could tell he was not interrested but he said sure, he would go with us.

Well, I could tell he had some sort of a problem with God. I had no idea what it was but we all got ready to go on Sunday morning and we all piled into our vehicle.

We were on time. It was said once, if you are on time, you are late, if you are early, you are on time. We were going to arrive 15 minutes early if we left when we got into the car.

Well, there we all were, in the vehicle ready to leave when I turned the key to start it up it went….CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK…

I tried again, same thing, CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK…

OMG!

Here we were trying to get to church, with a person who was mad at God for some reason and all we get is CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK…

I looked at my wife, and she looked at me, our teens said some thing like, OMG or some thing…

I tried it again and BAM! it cranked.

We got to church ok and I was a bit concerned about getting home after church… but all that was ok, it clicked again when I tried to start it after church but it did start.

After I took everyone home, I got it started and drove to the local autoparts store and tried to clean my battery post clamps and wires. I got that done and was tightening up one post when the bolt broke!!! I went back in and purchased a New battery post clamp but could not figure out how I was going to cut the quarter inch copper cables to put on the new terminal.

I had no money as I had spent our last dollar on that terminal connector, but a friend was to meet me there to give me $50.00 for some work I did for him. He showed up and I told him the dilema.

He said, “Why cut the cable, why not just replace the 60 cent bolt?!” OMG, I never thought of that!

So, you see. God in his divine providence tells in His Word to NOT forsake the assembling or ourselves together with other Christians.

Heb 10:25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

God knows a gathering of the minds produces many ways to deal with situations in life.

Just as I had not thought of a simple solution to the mechanical problem with my vehicle, so too can we have life situations arise whereby we may not see the easy solution before us, while some member of our Church body can quickly and clearly see the solution!

I believe The Word of God to be complete and able to help us and instruct us in every situation in life. Thus, when God tells us in His Word to go assemble together with other Christians.. I believe we should follow that.

Can a person be saved and NOT attend church? Yes. But if we are to follow His instructions.. we will not do so.

If you are reading this, and do not attend a church anywhere… Pray to God and ask Him to send someone to you to invite you to Church! I assure you, you will definitely be happier when you do find a church and become a part of what is going on.

alaskalive.

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Farmer Kid Joins The Marines

tazmaniac — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 07:10:10 +0000

Dear Ma and Pa,
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.
Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there’s warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee.Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much.
We go on ‘route marches,’ which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it’s not my place to tell him different. A ‘route march’ is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown.They don’t bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing.I keep getting medals for shooting. I don’t know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don’t move, and it ain’t shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don’t even load your own cartridges they come in boxes.
Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain’t like fighting with that ole bull at home. I’m about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I’m only 5′6′ and 130 pounds and he’s 6′8′ and near 300 pounds dry. Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in. Your loving daughter, Alice

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To Be Ten Again

tazmaniac — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 23:20:58 +0000

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror.
Since her birthday was not far off he asked, what she’d like to have for
her birthday. ‘I’d like to be ten again’, she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl
of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Thorpe Park theme park. What a
day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear,
the Screaming Monster Roller coaster,everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was
reeling and her stomach felt upside down.He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favourite candy, M&M’s. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, ‘Well Dear, what was it like being ten again?’
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. ‘I meant my
dress size, you retard!!!!’
.

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Preachers Son

tazmaniac — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 23:04:06 +0000

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn’t really know what he wanted to do, and he didn’t seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy’s room and placed on his study table four objects.
1. A Bible 2. A silver dollar. 3. A bottle of whisky. 4. And a Playboy magazine.
I’ll just hide behind the door,’ the old preacher said to himself. ‘When he comes home from school today, I’ll see which object he picks up. If it’s the Bible, he’s going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be!f he picks up the dollar, he’s going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too.But if he picks up the bottle, he’s going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be. And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he’s going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer.’The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son’s foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room.The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month’s centerfold. Lord have mercy,’ the old preacher disgustedly whispered. ‘He’s gonna run for Congress.’

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An explaniation of Life

tazmaniac — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 21:51:29 +0000

On the first day, God created the dog and said: Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.’The dog said: ‘That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten? ‘So God agreed.On the second day, God created the monkey and said: Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.’The monkey said: ‘Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?’ And God agreed.On the third day, God created the cow and said: ‘You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.’ The cow said: ‘That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?’ And God agreed again..On the fourth day, God created humans and said: Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.’But the human said: ‘Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?’ ‘Okay,’ said God, ‘You asked for it.’ So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family.. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren… And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone..Life has now been explained to you.

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Roses and hanging baskets

tazmaniac — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 21:15:29 +0000

A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date
with this see-through blouse on and no bra.
Her grandmother just pitched a fit,
telling her not to dare go out like that! The teenager tells her
‘Loosen up Grams. These are modern times.
You gotta let your rose buds show!’
and out she goes. The next day the teenager comes down stairs,
and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on.
The teenager wants to die. She explains to her grandmother
that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate…
The grandmother says, Loosen up, Sweetie.
If you can show off your rose buds, then I can display my hanging baskets.

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Pecans in the cemetery

tazmaniac — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 08:15:27 +0000

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just
inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of
nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
“One for you, one for me; one for you, one for me,” said one boy.
Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he
thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to
investigate. Sure enough, he heard, “One for you; one for me. One for
you; one for me.”
He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off.
Just around the bend, he met an old man with a cane…. hobbling along.
“Come here quick!” said the boy. “You won’t believe what I heard!
Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls..”
The man said, “Beat it kid! Can’t you see it’s hard for me to walk.”
When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, “One for you; one for me. One for
you; one for me.”The old man whispered, “Boy, you’ve been atellin’ me the truth. Let’s
see if we can see the Lord.”
Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence…. yet were still unable
to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of
the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, “One for you; one for me. That’s all. Now, let’s
go get those nuts by the fence…. and we’ll be done.”
They say the old man made it back to town a full five minutes ahead of the
kid on the bike.

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Sixty-three and pregnant

tazmaniac — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 08:02:57 +0000

A woman went to the emergency room where she was seen by a young, new
doctor. After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told
her she was pregnant. She burst out of the room and ran down the corridor screaming. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was. After listening to
her story, he calmed her down and sat her in another room.
Then the doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor’s room.
“What’s wrong with you?” he demanded.”This woman is 63 years old, she has two grown children and several grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?”
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking
up said, “Does she still have the hiccups?”

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I want to be like an American

tazmaniac — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 07:01:43 +0000

A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute refugee claimant outside
a Maryland immigration office. ‘My good man,’ the fairy said, ‘I’ve been sent here by President Obama and told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the United States
with your wife and three children.’ The man told the fairy. ‘Well, where I come from we don’t have good teeth,so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.’ The fairy looked at the man’s almost toothless grin and PING! he had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!
‘What else?’ asked the fairy, ‘two more to go.’The refugee claimant now got bolder. ‘I need a big house with a three car garage in Annapolis on the water with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my relatives who still live in my country. I want to bring them
all over here. PING! In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a
three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ in an upscale neighborhood overlooking the bay. One more wish’, said the fairy, waving her wand. ‘Yes, one more wish.
I want to be like an American with American clothes instead of these torn
cloths, and a baseball cap instead of this turban. And I want to have white
skin like Americans. PING ! The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans, a Baltimore
Orioles T-shirt and a baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the
mansion had disappeared from the horizon. ‘What happened to my new teeth?’ he wailed.
‘Where is my new house?’ The fairy said ‘Tough Luck, Mac, Now that you are a White American, you have to fend for yourself.’ And she disappeared

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